Why Young Athletes Lack Physical Expression & How to Fix It
An Ask Aaron & EJ Podcast
 Discover why a lack of unstructured play is hindering physical expression in young athletes. Learn how to foster controlled aggression and unlock your child’s true athletic potential.

The Vanishing Athlete: Why Aren’t Kids “Getting Physical”?

There is a trend where young athletes are becoming more reserved, timid, and hesitant to fully express themselves on the field or court.
This isn’t just about the physical build of an athlete; it’s about their willingness to be aggressive, creative, and dominant. The problem, stems from a fundamental shift in how children play and train, leading to athletes who may know the techniques but lack the raw, expressive power to execute them.

The Two Worlds: Unstructured Play vs. The Modern “Structured” Athlete

Nowadays theres two types of athletes: the unstructured and the structured.
  • The Unstructured Athlete: This is the kid who grew up with spontaneous, self-directed play. They are the skateboarders, the kids playing tackle football without pads, or the ones who spent hours throwing a ball against a garage door. Their “play date” was a simple knock on a friend’s door, and they came home when the streetlights came on. This environment fosters:
    • Creative Problem-Solving: Learning to pop a wheelie, land a trick, or juke a friend in a game of tag teaches the body to adapt and innovate.
    • Resilience: Bumps, bruises, and falls are part of the process. Skateboarders, for example, don’t stop trying after a fall; they learn from it and push their physical boundaries further.
    • Innate Physicality: They develop a natural comfort with contact, aggression, and expressing themselves physically because they’ve explored their own limits in a low-stakes environment.
  • The Structured Athlete: This is the modern norm. Today’s kids are often placed in organized, skill-based training from a very young age. Their free time is scheduled, and their activities are governed by rules and adult supervision. This can lead to athletes who are:
    • Overloaded with Information: They are so “handcuffed” by instructions on the “right way” to do things that they lose the ability to just let go and play freely.
    • Fearful of Mistakes: The constant oversight can create a fear of failure, discouraging the very experimentation that builds confidence and physical expression.
    • Like Robots: They execute drills but lack the human element of celebration, passion, and raw determination. They’re not allowed to “play free.”

Sport is War: Reclaiming the Competitive Spirit

“Sport is war.” This isn’t about promoting violence, but about recognizing that athletic competition requires a level of controlled aggression to dominate an opponent. The best athletes, from equestrian riders “attacking” a jump to Steph Curry fighting through contact at the three-point line, all possess this trait.
The word “attack” is crucial. It’s a mindset of proactive aggression and competitive spirit. When athletes lack this, they become passive. This is evident when a baseball player swings a bat with perfect form but no power, or a basketball player opts for a finesse shot from the outside to avoid driving into the lane and bumping bodies.

A Parent’s Guide to Fostering Physical Expression

So, how can parents and coaches reverse this trend? The solution lies in consciously reintroducing the elements that have been lost.

1. Embrace Sports That Demand Aggression

Instead of shying away from contact, guide young athletes toward activities that teach controlled aggression in a safe environment.
  • Martial Arts (like Jujitsu): Teaches athletes to be comfortable with close physical contact and how to strategically dominate an opponent within a clear set of rules.
  • Wrestling: One of the purest forms of one-on-one physical competition, building both mental and physical toughness.
  • Gymnastics: While not a contact sport, it demands total physical commitment. As the coaches note, you can’t “half-ass a backflip.” It forces an athlete to be explosive and confident in their physical abilities.

2. Encourage (and Redefine) a “Go-Getter” Attitude

It’s essential to nurture a child’s natural physicality from a young age. Instead of immediately saying “Don’t do that!” when a child is being physically boisterous, guide them. Show them the appropriate way to channel that energy. This teaches them that aggression itself isn’t bad, but that there are productive and unproductive ways to use it.

3. Build Mental Toughness

A lack of physical expression is often tied to a lack of mental toughness. Athletes who are mentally tough are more comfortable pushing their boundaries, facing contact, and asserting themselves in competition. The sports listed above are excellent for building this resilience.
By fostering an environment that values unstructured play, encourages controlled aggression, and builds mental fortitude, we can help the next generation of athletes unlock their full potential and bring the art of physical expression back to the game.